found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
