32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
