Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
