Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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