no, he came in my armpit
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
