erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
