Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
