I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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