They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
