Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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