So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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