its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
third nipple confirmed
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize