I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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