We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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