32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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