Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
found the other keg... it's in the tree
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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