She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
