yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
