Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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