Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
