I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
