They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
