Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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