i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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