If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
