Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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