Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
