Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
