Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize