Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
