its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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