Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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