It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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