What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
