If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
