I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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