how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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