we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's shark week go big or go home
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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