i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
