dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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