Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
