i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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