Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
