okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
