Buhtt sex?
babies were throwing up all over the place
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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