i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
