he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
we should paint friendship bongs
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
