it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
