you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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