these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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