How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
