She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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