i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
