your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
