Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
