how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
