Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
