Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
