i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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