I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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