she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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