I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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