I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
