I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
