thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
