It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize