There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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