even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
