I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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